Captain's Cabin

Pirate Lord of the Platinum Coast
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Tattle Tail Tuesday

My Bean is the least romantic human you will ever meet. You can forget mushy greeting cards, candies, flowers and candlelit dinners for two. Love poetry will like get you a black eye. Instead, a night out on the town involves sports bar hopping, and if you really want to impress her, but get tickets to the big game.

Valentine's Day is, needless to say, not a big holiday for her, and she's likely to spend it, at home, alone watching a DVD. And it's not going to a romantic comedy that will be playing because, well, those bore her to tears.

Yet for all this she does have one really strange inconsistency in her make up.

She reads Romance Novels. Not all the time, mind you, and not in any great number. In fact, after several years of experimentation, she's settled down to the works of only one author.


Stephanie Laurens writes two series of books that occasionally cross over, both set in and around England's Regency Era, with much of the action taking place in the London Ton. She's ready all the books ever written by Ms. Laurens, and she owns most of them as well.

I suppose that in some weird way, she wanted to be born into the regency era. I would point out that if she had been alive during that time, she'd not be a member of the fashionable ton. Oh no. Rather I could see her as a tavern wench somewhere and she'd probably be a good tavern wench too, as she could also serve as a bouncer. No, no bar fights in her tavern.

Given a choice between books, including those that she normally reads and enjoys - like Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series, which is urban fantasy, or one of Tony Hillerman's mystery books - she'll read the latest from Laurens first, and usually blast through it to the exclusion of all else.


And of course she'll sit there and mutter about how stupid the characters in said romance are, but she seems to enjoy every last work of them, even the hot, steamy sex scenes which she classifies as soft porn.

What this says about her, I have no idea. I really don't care, one way or the other, as long as I am brushed, fed, petted, let outside, let back inside, given fresh water, and scritched on a daily basis. After all, I am the most important thing in her life. Sometimes I thinks he forgets, but I'm quick to remind her of it. Prince charming can wait, especially when I need to be furminated.

And I suppose I can tolerate her reading romance stories to me once in a while, although I'd rather she left out the steamy scenes. After all, I'm a cat, I have no interest in human mating rituals.

It's probably better the way it is. At least big games only come along once in a blue moon.

Mystery Man Cat: I've had a couple of my feline furrriends ask for clues for my mystery man cat. I'll be doing an entry to Skeezix Valentines Day Contest, which I should get posted tonight unless a natural disaster occurs, but for the moment, let's just say he's a mancat with true southern style and charm. After all, I'm a Southern Belle, so what else would attract me except a Southern Gentleman Cat?

Believe me when I say I would rather stay home with my human slave, then running off looking for treasure and adventure!

My Bean on the other paw likes this guy...

Captain Jack Sparrow

Weird, isn't she?


Gandalf & Grayson said...

Our Mom likes to read and read too. We sometimes have to sit on her book to remind her of what's really important - us!

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Our mom loves reading, but although she is an incurable romantic, she doesn't read romance novels. The only romance novels she has ever read are considered historical fiction, by Diana Gabaldon.

How exciting that you have a Valentine! We can't wait to find out who it is!

Daisy said...

Good grief, I still cannot figure out the mystery Mancat!

-d ma said...

Romance novels? Well to each their own. I thought your bean was more a matt damon fan than johnny depp fan.

DEBRA said...

I have succeeded in keeping Momma from reading too much. Boo and I settle on top of her and she can't move...she has to pay attention to us. We love it that way. Getting all of the attention!


Mickey said...

Mom likes that guy too,heehee She also likes mysteries (Anne Perry) and fantasy (Dragonlance,Wheel of Time) Not too crazy about the romance books ;)
Cannot wait to see your Valentine!Southern gentlemancat? Hmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
Purrs Mickey

Chance said...

An I tawt my Mommie waz da only wun hoo red dat stuffs. My Mommie haz also red all da cynster an bastion cwub novels. I donna noe why she lykes dem, but evary tyme she gets wun she feeds me reel fast an den sits on da cowch an reeds da hole ting at wunce. At leest I getsta lay on her an sumtymes I chew on da corner of da book tyll she scritches me fur a wile.

Tamra Maew said...

My lady servant likes that guy too. And although she counts the number of V-day that go by where the male servant doesn't give her flowers, she doesn't care much for romance novels. I think they are just all weird those humans, don't worry yourself of their mental health so much it will make you go crazy!


Jan said...

We appreciate the info you left on JFF on PETA. We don't like PETA but we didn't know about those things you mentioned. We're going to look into it more. If you have any links to the info on ex-investigators for them, we'd love to have them. Our email is mercyandpercy at gmail dot com.

Jan's Funny Farm

catsynth said...

Well, to each their own. We're not big on celebrating Valentines Day either. But we have so many other things to enjoy.

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

I need to know who this mystery mancat is, you are driving me crazy.....with anticipation.

My Mum reads alot too, but only mystery novels, preferably English mystery novels. After I have had enough of her reading I just plunk myself on her book!

jan said...

We get to celebrate Valentine's day by watching our human eat chocolate. She has weird reading habits too. She reads Gothic novels and anything with vampires. Mostly we don't tell people.

Misty the alpha Poodle

Icon Baxter Bentley said...

Very nice choices, indeed! (we loves johnny depp)
This year, my mamma is ignoring the fact that it is almost valentines day.

Tybalt said...

Diamond, I hate to admit it, but my mommy reads those things too. She's addicted to the Regency Romance genre, AND paranormal fantasy romance. She calls it her "fluff" and says it keeps her sane. I usually lay down and paw at whatever she is reading to remind her that I'm more important. Oh, and my mommy DROOLS over Johnny Depp.

So . . . the mystery mancat is from the south . . . the plot thickens!

Captain Jack and Sir Dante said...

Our Mommy absolutely loves the Kim Harrison books!! She's read all of the Rachael Morgan books countless times and even got our Uncle to enjoy them too!

Trixie said...

My Mom loves to read too and says does not get enough time. We don't make it easy for her either. She said every time she wants to read "someone" needs attention. She likes detective mysteries and has a couple of favorite authors like Dick Francis and Lawrence Sanders.

I can't wait to find out about your Valentine!

Sunny's Mommy said...

Hahaha! I don't think your beans is weird for liking that guy ;-)

PKPWV said...

our mom likes the Pirate as well..seems alot of moms do! But she does love silly romance movies...but will not be celebrating valentines day-she thinks it's a silly holiday so that people will spend loads of money-so we'll be her valentines!!! Wow she'll get three valentines and we'll give her loads of love!! She deserves it!!!

Kodak, 3 Perf and Winton....we woke up to post this...going back to nap

Chairman Mao said...

Momma loves loves loves readin and she reads all kinds of stuffies as long as she thinks it's good! I espeshully like it when she reads books about kitties, hehe.

We Ballicai can't wait to find out who the Mysstury Mancat is! That is furry ecksiting!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Marilyn MonREOW said...

Oh, *swoon*... I love romances. I love love stories of all kinds, all times... *happy sigh*. Of course, I am a very girly-girly girlcat. I love love poetry and hearts and flowers and mushy mush mush mush! *giggle*

Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn!

Miz Allie Cat said...

My moms she likes those scarry mystery ones...I like to sit on her lap and rub against the bottom of the book...meow

Boots & the Interlopers said...

The bookshelf looks like our mom's desk top. Books everwhere, they do however make great places to lay on when the sun is shining.

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Our momma loves to read, romance novels, sleazy novels, crime novels, mysteries, magazines, etc. etc. etc. Whew! She always has a book or two on the nightstand, but sometimes that sucks because she reads instead of paying attention to US!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam and Simon

Jimmy Joe said...

Hahaha, that is very strange of your momma not to be "romantic" but to like books that are called "romance" novels. Beans are very inconsistent, aren't they?
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

Gattina said...

I didn't even know about Valentine before I came to Belgium. At that time it didn't exist in Germany. Today of course it's celebrated but not so like in the States. It is more something for Teenager or young couples. None of my friends celebrates Valentine. So I let my cats celebrate, lol !

Karen Jo said...

Your Mom sounds like a very eclectic reader. I like to read, too, but I haven't been doing much of it lately. I have a whole stack of books which need reading. I like that pirate guy, too.

Junior said...

My Meowm likes to read lots! My Meowm says your Mom should try Suzanne Brockmann for some good modern day romances with some suspense thrown in!

You have a hard choice ahead of you with those Valentines...good luck!

We hope to get animal abuse and torture become a felony here....we will see if what Meowm and others did today will help.