Captain's Cabin

Pirate Lord of the Platinum Coast
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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wondering Wednesday

Black Cat was wondering what "Tacks Season" was and says it sounds painful. Judging that my Bean comes home late and grumpy and tired during this Tacks Season, I must assume that it is painful, both to her and to certain tacks payers.

As near as I can figure, this "Tacks Season" has something to do with the number of green papers humans earn in one year. It seems someone named Uncle Sam feels he is entitled to a certain number of these green papers, called "tackses", from the Humans who has earned them. No one is really sure what happens to these tackses once Uncle Sam gets them, but most Humans do not wish to part with these tackses.

My Bean's job is to find "loop holes" in the "system" which allows Tacks payers to pay as few Tackses as humanly possible. If she does it right, the tacks payer will receive a "tacks refund" which with make them happy.

To enforce the collection of these tackses from tacks payers is a terrible monster called an Internal Revenue Service (or IRS) agent. Evidently, these are horrible creatures related to bodachs.

In the folklore of the British Isles, a bodach is a vile beast that slithers down chimneys at night and carries off children who misbehave. Rather like (Internal) Revenue (Service) Agents.(a) The payment of tackses keeps these fiendish creatures away, which is why the humans must pay them to this Uncle Sam.

While my Bean says that dealing with Uncle Sam's tackses system can be tough for humans that live in the United States, some places have even worse tackses systems. She says that she finds dealing with Revenue Canada even worse than trying to deal with the American IRS, and while she has never had any direct dealings with the tacksing department over in the British Isles, she has some British clients with American interests who seems to get "Royally Screwed" by the IRS counterpart in Great Britain every year.

As you can tell from this, my Bean is very brave since she deals with bodachs and Internal Revenue Service Agents on a daily basis and does not fear them.

Anyway, I hope that has made things a little clearer for you. I never really understand all the things that Humans do myself, so sometimes it's a little hard to explain them.

(a) From the book "Brother Odd" by Dean Koontz


Parker said...

Your human must be a hero. Mommy and Daddy have lots of bad words for the IRS monsters!

-d ma said...

Yeah your bean is pretty brave to deal with those beasts. I find it difficult to believe that other country's have even worst beasts. Although I shouldn't complain, ever since I bought my house I usually get a refund because of the interest that is deductible.

P.S. I now agree that it was perfectly OK for you to go through your bean's purse. That fountain is fab! I wanna get one for my boyz.

Charlotte said...

MonsTERs! My SMS agrees and loves the analogy of the IRS to the Bodach. My SMS told me that taxes in Australia are very high
Charlotte x
PS. You are a cool looking kitty! Very sleek.

Junior said...

Meowm was working on her tackses last night...and was not happy!

The stripedy kitty-Meowm knows he is a he, she has seen it for herself. And from what she saw he still has his hoo-hahs. So we are going to hope he is looking for love. Although there are no females (except Meowm) in my household, we think several of hte ones Meowm is feeding are females.

Sunny's Mommy said...

Very good explanation, Diamond.

jan said...

Humans have to pay tackses or they will be outeded. Which sounds really scary to have to meet with an IRS outeder.

Misty the alpha Poodle

Cheysuli and gemini said...

We just send ours off to a very nice accounting firm and then get our stuff back and pay. We are still waiting on some paperwork from the mortgage companies.

Daisy said...

I know I hate tackses!

PKPWV said...

our mommy doesn't care too much for the silly tax peeps! She never has nice words to say.

Kodak, 3 Perf and Winton

PB & J said...

Oh your bean has a tough job - a friend of Mommy's does the same thing and she is so tired until April 15th when everything gets better again!

HRH Yao-Lin said...

my human says the inland revenue are the devil - I believe most people would agree! x

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Oh yes, my Mum says Revenue Canada is very evil! Apparently, we don't have this Uncle Sam you speak of, but someone takes my Mums Tackses and spends them on ridiculous things.

Team Tabby said...

Yes, we think we have that 'tacks' system here too. No getting away from it either!

Mindy & Moe

Icon Baxter Bentley said...

oooo! tacks season is here!

Karen Jo said...

That reminds me that I have to do my tackses soon so that I can start on my Mom's. Mine are easy-peasy, but my Mom's can be a nightmare.

Kaz's Cats said...

Wow Diamond, we've got to say that your human is very brave. Our grandma used to do that sort of work here in Australia, until she got tired of it. We're going to send her a link to this post so that she can read about how scary "Tacks Season" is in the US.


Gypsy & Tasha

Wrigley & Cobalt said...

We agree your bean is brave to deal with all of the tackses. We don't like tackses this year because we don't get a refund, we have to pay even MORE green papers.