Humans very touchy, feely. You ever notice this?
It very hot out and I spend time getting all nice and groomed, then I lay down for nap. Then it starts. Sweaty human hand petting my ears. Smelly human lips kissing my head. Grubby human fingers holding my paw. For goodness sake, I trying to sleep!
And then she have nerve, say I annoy her when she sleep. She not know meaning of word "annoy".
You want do something with those hands? Open can of cat food for me.
Then she put flea stuff on me, say it smell like sunblock. Not need sunblock. Tan coming along just fine without sunblock!
I swear, gonna move to deserted island somewhere with automatic food opener and NO HUMANS!