Captain's Cabin

Pirate Lord of the Platinum Coast
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Saturday, July 14, 2012

Pyscho Killer Saturday

How to tell if your cat is trying to kill you.
Click to bigify!

Bean says I am Psycho Killer. She says she has given me Quantico DIY home profile to determine if I psycho killer. This is how she score me:

(0=Does not apply; 1=Somewhat applies; 2=perfect match)

1) Glib and Superficial Charm: The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

She give me a 2 on this because I very friendly and charm people easily.

2) Grandiose Self-Worth: A grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

She give me a 2 on this too, but it is true, that I am superior to human beans. All cats are.

3) Need for Stimulation or Proneness to Boredom: An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

She give me a 2 on this too because she say when I am not sleeping, I am always out looking to get into trouble.

4) Pathological Lying: Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

She give me a 2 on this. I think this big mistake, as I never lie. Always tell truth. She just not understand the circumstances.

5) Conning and Manipulativeness: The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

She give me 2 on this as well because I so good at manipulating treats out of her, not mention beating up on tabby brofur to gain his treats as well.

6) Lack of Remorse or Guilt: A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

She give me 2 on this as well, but if I never do anything wrong, there no reason for me to feel remorseful or guilty about anything.

7) Shallow Affect: Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

She give me a 2 on this because she says she can tell I am just faking affection for her. She say because I put the bitey on her when she pet me, that I not really care. And because I can be very nasty to tabby brofur. But he deserve it!

8) Callousness and Lack of Empathy: A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

She give me 2 because I stick claws in her. They type of homopathic healing cats use, not lack of feeling. Rather it an abundance of feeling. She say "yeah, an abundance of pain!"

9) Parasitic Lifestyle: An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

Just because I rely on her for food and shelter does not make me a parsite. I have always work, as killer of ratties and other thigns for my upkeep, so there is no financial dependence. And I can be very motivated when there is treats involved.

10) Poor Behavioral Controls: Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

Excuse me? Tabby Brofur try to bring slutty back up singer into my house, Of course I going to hurl verbal abuse, threats, and show aggression. IT MY HOME! And I tired of tabby brofur's mooching too! He need to get own home! This would not be happening if she not have other cat to compare me to!

("See," she says. "20 out of twenty." So? test not done. Test on...)

11) Promiscuous Sexual Behavior: A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

I nutered, so I get a 0 on this. So now it 20 out of 22! Hah!

12) Early Behavior Problems : A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

She says she did not know me as kitten, but that I did run away from home, so she give me a 1 on this. She also says lying, theft, cheating and bullying still going on.

13) Lack of Realistic, Long-Term Goals: an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

What so unrealistic about wanting a Hollywood career? I beautiful, intelligent cat. Would be perfect for any movee or TV show! Wait, why you give me a 2 on this. I not aimless or lacking of direction! Just cause my direction right now toward sofa to take a nap not meaning I lacking it.

14) Impulsivity: The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

You kidding right? One should always go after what one sees. Wait, I do not deserve a 2 on this one!

15) Irresponsibility: Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

What you mean we at 27 out of 30? This test not fair to cat!

16) Failure to Accept Responsibility for Own Actions: A failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

If I not get caught, I did not do it. What you mean, 2?

17) Many Short-Term Marital Relationships: A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

I not get married. So I get a 0 on this. What you mean, I get a one because I go through three different homes? That not show lack of commitment, except for human's lack of commitment to me! (30 out of 34?)

18) Juvenile Delinquency: Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

So I kill things? So what? Yes even when I kitten. NO THAT IS NOT A BEHAVIORIAL PROBLEM! Stealing baby birds from nests only a crime of you are bird. What?

19) Revocation of Condition Release: A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

I never get caught, so...what? What do you mean I was under house arrest when I live with Loretta-Bean? No, was not release due to failure to appear, it was release because you could not catch me? 34 out of 38? You sure about that? I do not think you count right...

20) Criminal Versatility: A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Well, yes, I very versitile, but killing is my forte as I'm sure you know. So what?

What you mean, I score 36 out of 40? 90%? I am sure test is wrong. I not psycho killer.



I'VE BEEN FRAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

Binga got 34 out of 40. Hmmmm....